What did you get your woman for Valentines Day?

[MBC]

3 carnations in a empty budlight bottle i filled with water.

 

[FrankieButNotEdgar]

Cash in a Valentine's Day card, candlelit bubble bath with flowers surrounding the bathtub and then well . . . . .use your imagination.

 

[Problematique]

No woman, no need to waste money.

I don't do shit for V-Day anyway.

 

[bigsmooth696969]

Cash in a Valentine's Day card, candlelit bubble bath with flowers surrounding the bathtub and then well . . . . .use your imagination.

Did your ass personally make the bubbles for her?

 

[ILJO]

She got a pearl necklace

:jerk:

 

[FrankieButNotEdgar]

Did your ass personally make the bubbles for her?

Nah but it got delayed. True story, I brought home flowers, lit candles, spread flowers around the tub, a big ass tub we haven't used yet, steamed the bathroom up, put the baby to bed and everything. Right before she got home from work, my sister, her husband, and their daughter came over and ruined everything.

We didn't end up doing the bath thing, and by the time my sister and them left, the baby was up and playing her ass off. By the time we got her back to sleep, we were both so damn tired that we almost just went to sleep. But it was Valentine's Day so notice I said almost went to sleep.

 

[bigsmooth696969]

Nah but it got delayed. True story, I brought home flowers, lit candles, spread flowers around the tub, a big ass tub we haven't used yet, steamed the bathroom up, put the baby to bed and everything. Right before she got home from work, my sister, her husband, and their daughter came over and ruined everything.

We didn't end up doing the bath thing, and by the time my sister and them left, the baby was up and playing her ass off. By the time we got her back to sleep, we were both so damn tired that we almost just went to sleep. But it was Valentine's Day so notice I said almost went to sleep.

>>Insert opening music from Back to the Hotel by N2Deep

 

[FrankieButNotEdgar]

>>Insert opening music from Back to the Hotel by N2Deep

LOL. Nothing crazy. But my wife and I love each other like it's the first time we told each other. We've been together for 6 years and I can't picture myself with anyone else. It's sappy but we're perfect for each other, yet have nothing in common.

 

[mauladala]

Nuttin

 

[kc56]

I am single, so nothing. Just hung out with friends.

 

[Heese]

Hopefully you saved some $$ for Vegas Heese lol

tryin bro

 

[Ubermensch]

Some sperm!! Haha Nah she has been sick all weekend so we are going to do it up next weekend seems smarter anyway wont have the long waits at the restaurants.

 

[bigsmooth696969]

Some sperm!! Haha Nah she has been sick all weekend so we are going to do it up next weekend seems smarter anyway wont have the long waits at the restaurants.

I hear Bigsmooths All you can eat Sausage and Duck Butter Buffet is great!

 

[Poindexter]

3 carnations in a empty budlight bottle i filled with water.

How'd that go over?

 

[GingerPowerBottom]

My better half asked for a neck massage. Need to play my cards right.

 

[Poindexter]

My better half asked for a neck massage. Need to play my cards right.

I always offer a throat massage.

 

[GingerPowerBottom]

I always offer a throat massage.

Emphasis on play my cards right.

Also boiling shrimp and cooking it in my wood stove.

 

[Palma]

I gave her a bottle of “bitch, shut the fuck up”

 

[GingerPowerBottom]

I gave her a bottle of “bitch, shut the fuck up”

You and me:

 

[Anchorpunch]

I spent some cash on her, turned her on, then we played for hours.

My lady is a PS5.

 

[Kano]

I gave her the full 3 and a half.

 

[Anchorpunch]

I gave her the full 3 and a half.

Wow, three and a half stars? That's a rude thing to say about your significant other, Kano. Love is a five star game.

 

[GingerPowerBottom]

Wood fired shrimp!

 

[Anchorpunch]

Wood fired shrimp!
View attachment 5909

Miz, if you had told me that you could cook that, I would have put out sooner.

And I know you want to change your name, but you'll always be Miz to me.


He can kill with a smile, he can wound with his eyes
And he can ruin your faith with his casual lies
And he only reveals what he wants you to see
He hides like a child but he's always a just a Miz to me
He can root for Woodley, he can take you or leave you
He can ask for the truth but he'll never believe you
And he'll take what you give him as long as it's free
Yeah he steals like a thief but he's always just a Miz to me

Oh, he takes care of himself, that's a masturbation joke
He's ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives out and he never gives in
But bottom so same diff

And he'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then he'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
Billy Joel sure does have lady issue don't he?
Boy I sure do wish it was Miz with boobies and me

 

[Anchorpunch]

So I said "Happy Valentines Day, bitches" to a group of friends. A female friend pulled me aside because, apparently, silly use of that word is sexist and only women can use it.

 

[GingerPowerBottom]

So I said "Happy Valentines Day, bitches" to a group of friends. A female friend pulled me aside because, apparently, silly use of that word is sexist and only women can use it.

C’mon AP. It’s 2021. Only rappers and dog trainers can use that word.

 

[Anchorpunch]

C’mon AP. It’s 2021. Only rappers and dog trainers can use that word.

I am too old for this shit, Miz. Like, I won't do it again. But the idea that we have a female friend who joins our calls saying "what up, bitches" but I can't because I'm a dude. That's treating it like it's the n work or the f word. I get those. I don't agree with making it a "b word."

 

[GingerPowerBottom]

I am too old for this shit, Miz. Like, I won't do it again. But the idea that we have a female friend who joins our calls saying "what up, bitches" but I can't because I'm a dude. That's treating it like it's the n work or the f word. I get those. I don't agree with making it a "b word."

I work in education so it’s always best to approach with caution. I got bitched out about 15 years ago for calling the women’s bball team the girls team. I’ve been cautious ever since. Everyone I work with I’m carefull of but I tell them straight up that I can’t be offended. I watch what I saybut I don’t care what they say. I was in the Missouri army national guard when I started in education. Used to be a nightmare going from drill weekend to school week (just talking about cussing in general.)
I’m white and I’d never use the n word, but when I’m at home by myself and I play Easy I sure do think it. Even then I don’t say it. But deep down everyone has a little Easy in them.

 

[Anchorpunch]

I work in education so it’s always best to approach with caution. I got bitched out about 15 years ago for calling the women’s bball team the girls team. I’ve been cautious ever since. Everyone I work with I’m carefull of but I tell them straight up that I can’t be offended. I watch what I saybut I don’t care what they say. I was in the Missouri army national guard when I started in education. Used to be a nightmare going from drill weekend to school week (just talking about cussing in general.)
I’m white and I’d never use the n word, but when I’m at home by myself and I play Easy I sure do think it. Even then I don’t say it. But deep down everyone has a little Easy in them.

Oh man, the woman/girl one is weird for me. For some reason I find it uncomfortable calling someone under 18 a woman or a man. Like, they're not, they're children and something about referring to them as adults creates a reaction in me. But I get their intent is in the right place, so I go with it too. Or say the ladies team. For some reason, to me, lady is age neutral. I don't get how my brain works.

And, crazy as it sounds, I don't think the n word during songs. It makes me uncomfortable and takes me out of the music. Does everything make me uncomfortable? Maybe I need softer underwear.

 

[Poindexter]

It’s Eazy, bro.

Can you safely swap it out for “beeyotch” @Anchorpunch?