Recovery Thread (1 Viewer)

Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
Trying to gain control of my my mind. I’ve been obsessing over some things and had terrible anxiety. I’m trying like hell to get control of myself. Probably still booze fueled from before I quit. It always goes through this cycle of depression then anxiety. I’m starting to feel better. I quit using weed as I thought that might have been fueling it. My mind feels as quiet as it has in a long time. I just have to remember not to drink. That will solve none of my problems. I’m at the tail end of my 30’s and I really want to right the ship.
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it people like me” Stuart Smalley
 

Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
Hope you all are doing fine.
I think I’ve finally hit a break through. Not drinking, prayer and meditation is working. I’m also exercising and trying to eat better.
I’ve been trying to bring quiet to my mind so that I can calm my obsessive thought (which I think could be exacerbated by my bi-polar). My anxiety is much better. I’ve mixed a few methods together. Basically I talk in my mind about what thoughts I’m worrying over. I realize it’s just me obsessing over something. I then ask my heart what it thinks and make a statement from my heart. I then ask my gut a yes or no question. After that I go back to my mind and think of some more positive things. Sounds silly but it’s been working.
One easy silly meditation thing is to put your hands on your belly with your middle fingers touching and say “be” when you breathe in, and “calm” when you breathe out. On the in breathe your fingers stop touching and on the out breathe your fingers touch.
I love this app called insight timer for meditations.
I want to get as many tools as I can do that this hopefully doesn’t happen, at least not as bad, ever again. It starts with not drinking.
Wish you were here @jokerthief .
Thanks for listening it helps to talk out loud.
I’m so glad my anxiety and obsessive thinking had calmed.
 

Kano

My New Challenge
Site Donor
@Miz you should set some short term, mid range and long term goals.
The short term goals give your mind something immediately to focus on.
The mid range goals will give you a way to measure your progress.
The long term goals will best help you advance your life positively.
 
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Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
@Miz you should set some short term, mid range and long term goals.
The short term goals give your mind something immediately to focus on.
The mid range goals will give you a way to measure your progress.
The long term goals will best help you advance your life positively.
That’s a good idea. I want to start running again. Maybe that would be a goal. Like a half marathon or something??? Maybe a Bjj competition.
The wife and I have been doing body combat and body pump (just started).
 

Dimson

Your tears don't fall...
That’s a good idea. I want to start running again. Maybe that would be a goal. Like a half marathon or something??? Maybe a Bjj competition.
The wife and I have been doing body combat and body pump (just started).
BJJ competition. Go and compete my man!
 

Dimson

Your tears don't fall...
I haven’t in several years. I get a lot of anxiety doing stuff like that. Is your body all healed up? Did you get your gi?
Body is sort of healed up and gi isn't quite done yet. I will post pics when it gets here.
 
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Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
I feel awake. My wife is the love of my life. Why she’s stayed with me I’ll never know. I’m through putting her through shit. I’m ready to be the me from when we met. I’m putting her first again and I’m not going through the motions. I’m ready to live. It’s like I’ve been granted a second chance. I can control my mind. It will work with me and not against me.
I wrote on a note card three passions. Passion 1 is my wife. Without her I don’t know where I’d be. Passion 2 is my kids. I love them. And I don’t know what passion three is, but if I put all of my heart into 1 and 2 then I know I’ll find it.
I feel like Jimmy Stewart in Its a Wonderful Life. I’ve been given another chance. I’m going to make use of it.
Changing my mind from thinking negative to positive is the greatest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve only just started. I can control my emotions. I can control how I think. I can’t control every situation, but I can control my mind.
You guys don’t know how good it feels when the anxiety and obsessive thoughts and depression stops. I just need to not drink, meditate, and change my thoughts from negative to positive. Life will happen, but hopefully if I have the tools, then I’ll stay in control.
Thanks to you guys for always being there. I have a second chance and I’m ready to start living again! I feel alive.
 

Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
If anyone is looking for a good book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is really good. A lot of spiritual stuff (not aligned with a religion) so if you’re not into that you have to overlook, but the basic principle of being present is huge. So easy but I didn’t realize how much I lived in my mind. I thought the constant chatter was good. Basically you try not to live in time in past or future. You try and be a witness to your thoughts and it has really taken away my obsessive thoughts. It’s all about living in the present moment. I’ve been working on it for a little under a month. It’s hard work changing how you think, but it’s been worth it. Little by little I’m living in presence. It’s good for anyone b/c as a society we give to much credence to our minds. It’s funny how my mind would sabotage me, but it has. Really good book. I finished it and now I’m finishing his Practicing The Power of Now book. Life changing stuff for me.
Hope everyone is well!
 

helipoison

Well-Known Member
I haven’t in several years. I get a lot of anxiety doing stuff like that.
You're not alone in that aspect. Many people get tons of anxiety when it comes to competing, especially in combat sports. If you look at all of the greatest hockey players that fought on the regular they always said the same thing. They were never scared, but they always had anxiety. Bob Probert and Tony Twist said they tried to focus that anxiety into performance. Both of those gentleman (performance enhancing or not) said using that anxiety helped created the engagement as their way of decompressing/high. So instead of craving the substance, they craved the combat. For them it was something they could satiate on a nightly basis. If you could compete monthly/quarterly and use the anxiety as a tool to satiate that need to decompress instead of substance abuse, it might be fruitful to try. The concern there though is you start seeking to compete outside the lines so you need to keep that in check.
 
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Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
@helipoison thanks for the reply. Tony Twist was a Blues player. I live in Missouri and have been to Blues games. Not a huge hockey fan, but it’s fun to go to games. It sure is fast when you see them live.
 

Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
Decided to quit a medicine I’ve been taking for three-four years that’s made me gain 25 pounds and zapped my energy. Didn’t think it through and didn’t talk to my doctor. I’m having some pretty significant symptoms (nausea, vomiting, dizziness, blurred vision) and it’s been a week. Hopefully it gets better. I tapered down, but only for a week. I’m such an impulsive bi-polar idiot. I still take 1 medicine. To late to turn back now.
 

Qball1974

Tired
Site Donor
Decided to quit a medicine I’ve been taking for three-four years that’s made me gain 25 pounds and zapped my energy. Didn’t think it through and didn’t talk to my doctor. I’m having some pretty significant symptoms (nausea, vomiting, dizziness, blurred vision) and it’s been a week. Hopefully it gets better. I tapered down, but only for a week. I’m such an impulsive bi-polar idiot. I still take 1 medicine. To late to turn back now.
Always talk to your doc first, some meds take weeks to months to taper off.
 
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Miz

mortality, ka, and the Tower
Had a rough night. I hate it that I’m so impulsive and stupid. I’m still building on being better and I’m not going to let a hiccup bring me down. This will be a good thing in the end. I’m going to call my doctor today, and I’m still taking my mood stabilizer. My goal is to only be on that as I don’t have side effects with that and I was successful on just that a few years ago. I feel a little better now.
 

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