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Recovery Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Miz, Dec 25, 2014.

  1. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    @Poindexter thanks for the song. Ended up being poison ivy, I guess, as a few more spots popped up.

    I’m feeling much better. Still some nausea, foggy thoughts, and stomach problems, but no more blurred vision or eye pressure. I’m not sleeping good, but that could be worse. I’m already down 10-12 pounds. Now I just need to start exercising. I was a little concerned a few days ago, about side effects, but I’m feeling more and more normal. I haven’t been eating much, I guess b/c of my stomach.
    If anyone is ever wanting to get off psych meds: please get your doctor’s advice and help! That shit sucked big time and I was legitimately worried for awhile.
     
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  2. Monsterman

    Monsterman Member

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    Just noticed this thread a couple of days ago and read it trough. A lot of relatable experiences.

    I started drinking at 15 and it got out of hand straight from the beginning. I would always get blackout drunk and already in the 9th grade i might just start drinking at 8 am instead of going to school. I managed to stay sober for a year when i was around 20 and for a few weeks every now and then but every time i would have a drink I couldn´t stop before passing out and the more i tried to fight it the more out of hand my life would get. Tried to kill myself at 23, after that I moved out of my home village to get rid of my old friends and at 24 finally managed to get sober.

    Then after being completely sober for 4 years i got prescribed antidepressants that caused me to get manic. I quit my job, moved back to my home village and started drinking and doing all kind of drugs like never before. Pretty similar to Fear and loathing in Las Vegas at times. At worst we might do subutex, benzos, speed, acid, extacy, weed and alcohol on the same day. After getting of the antidepressants I managed to get sober again for a few months but all my social connections were with people who were doing drugs and little by little I got back to doing them as well. Then I had a really bad LSA trip that pretty much caused me to loose my mind and a couple of months after that I tried to kill myself again. After my second suicide attempt i was finally ready to face my demons and just gradually gave up all drugs and alcohol while going to therapy. Even stopped drinking coffee for 2 years b/c i wanted to try how it would feel to be free of absolutely everything. I know i´m still socially awkward and not necessarily all there but I´m getting more and more in balance and I can actually have a drink every once in a while without getting the urge to get drunk or drink everyday.

    Unfortunately I can´t seem to be able to do the same with weed. I had been basicly sober for the last 4 years but started smoking a little bit over a month ago and have been doing it pretty much all day everyday since. It hasn´t caused me any problems and i´ve been happy to notice that even though the weed got completely out of hand i still don´t have interest to do any other drugs. But reading this thread really reminded me how much more i enjoy life while sober instead of being high all the time and at least for the time being I decided to give up weed again.

    So thank you all for sharing and all the best for you all.
     
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  3. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Thanks for sharing @Monsterman !

    I’m finally feeling “normal” after getting off that one medicine. That was really stupid of me to do on my own. I’m still not sleeping great, but my stomach feels much better and I’m not dizzy. My brain doesn’t feel as foggy either. I’m down about 15 pounds and haven’t really been exercising, so I know if I start that will get even better.

    Hope everyone is well.
     
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  4. Qball1974

    Qball1974 Tower of Song Site Donor

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    Grats on the last 4yrs.

    Now that weed is legal here I've basically done cannabis oil everyday since. I'm trying to replace beer with weed as much as possible, unfortunately I combined the two a few months ago and it makes for an enjoyable evening.

    I've made a few other lifestyle chances such as making healthier choices for meals and snacks, I've lost about 20lbs which is freaking me out a bit because I wouldn't think I'd loose that much without working out.

    The downside is I had microscopic blood in my urine my last yearly check up and my Crohn's has been acting up the last few weeks, so we shall see.
     
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  5. Monsterman

    Monsterman Member

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    Thanks.

    The last time I got sober I also stopped eating sugar for a year and lost 33lbs. It has gradually all come back but for some reason my face still looks much thinner than it used to. I also lost that without working out or actually trying to loose weight, just avoiding the sugar as much I could. I have IBS and it reacts to all kind of changes in diet. Don´t know much about Crohn´s but hopefully it all turns out fine.

    Weed will probably not be legalized in here for at least a decade but a good friend of mine is a grower and I get all I can smoke for free, which is nice if you wanna smoke and quite big temptation if you don´t.
     
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  6. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Do you live in Sweden? I forget where you live.
     
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  7. Monsterman

    Monsterman Member

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    I live in Finland.
     
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  8. Qball1974

    Qball1974 Tower of Song Site Donor

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    I used to be addicted to soap.






    I'm clean now.
     
  9. TriangleSmoke

    TriangleSmoke Motherfucker of the Century Site Donor

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    I never in a million years would have thought this would ever happen to me, but I got roofied yesterday at a festival in Jacksonville Beach, FL.

    Long story short, the drink was actually intended for a female friend of mine which I ended up drinking. I made it home safely, but I have no recollection of getting home.

    We were drinking Vodka-waters. My friend was already shitty, I finished mine and was heading to the bar to get another, and she says, "Just take mine. I haven't touched it and don't want it."

    I started feeling "off" about 30 minutes after finishing that drink. This was about 5:45pm. I noticed I was starting to feel reallllly shitfaced, I was slurring my speech, starting to have crosseyed vision, and I was getting weak in the knees. It was a familiar feeling, but I couldn't put my finger on it at the time. I started thinking about all I'd had to drink that day: 3 shocktops, 2 vodka waters, a full cup of water in between each alcoholic beverage, and a big lunch prior to drinking. I'm not a big drinker, but I can hold my booze. 3 beers and 2 liquor drinks over a 4.5 hr span is absolutely enough to give me a damn good buzz, but not even close to incapacitating me.

    It didn't occur to me that I had been drugged, but I instantly thought to myself, "Go the fuck home NOW." I flagged an uber, walked to the Wells Fargo away from the festival so the Uber could easily find me, but the last thing I remember is the walk to the Wells Fargo. I have no recollection of getting in the Uber or getting home.

    Apparently the Uber dropped me off a little after 6:30pm last night. I woke up in my own bed this morning at 6:30am drenched in sweat, and the room was spinning. I was a little freaked out over the fact that I completely blacked out because that hasn't happened to me in many years. I then wondered if perhaps I had been drugged, and then I recalled drinking my female friend's drink. I picked up a drug test from the pharmacy this morning, and sure enough I popped for benzodiazepines.

    I hadn't taken a benzodiazepine in 15 years, and when it showed up on the drug test it all made sense because my last memory before blacking out was "This is a familiar feeling, and this can't be only from the booze." I drank a cocktail spiked with rohypnol, valium, klonapin, xanax, or some other benzo. Scary shit, and yet another one of the many reasons why I fucking detest the cesspool of toxic waste that is Jacksonville Beach.
     
  10. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    At least the woman didn’t drink it. Glad nothing real bad happened TS! Luckily you weren’t driving. I was never good with woman. I can’t imagine doing that to someone. Only bad people would do that.
     
  11. TriangleSmoke

    TriangleSmoke Motherfucker of the Century Site Donor

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    I'm 99% sure I knwo who it was, but there's no way I can prove it.
     
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  12. Qball1974

    Qball1974 Tower of Song Site Donor

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    Just give him 99% of a beating and warn that poor girl.
     
  13. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Been struggling a bit. I quit that medicine a few months ago (I still take one) that I thought was giving me some side effects. I had some bad side effects for the first month and a half, but I think I’m good now. I lost 15 pounds without doing anything, so that is good. The problem is I’m really cycling between depression and elevated mood (bp2). The main problem I’ve noticed is my frustration. I’ll get stuck on the stupidest little trivial thing and I’ll just stew and shut down and be angry. I’m not verbally or physically abusive but I’ll just fume on the inside. It usually only last for a day but it will ruin my, and I’ll bring down everyone around me. No matter what I tell myself I can’t shake it.
    I need to start meditating again. I don’t want more medicine b/c I don’t want side effects but I guess I’d rather be level even if there are side effects. I’m not going to lie. I’ve slipped a few times, but I’m sober now.
    Just venting.
     
  14. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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  15. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    I haven’t been doing well at all. Not horrible, just not well. I think I’m going to start AA again tomorrow. They have a daily 7 am meeting I could hit before my wife goes to work that I think I could make daily. I need it daily for a while, I think. I also need a sponsor again. You ever sponsored anyone Kano? Every time I get a sponsor I fail. Not sure why that is? I had the nicest guy last time and I felt like shit letting him down. I have a love hate relationship with aa. I hate that I need it, and some of it I don’t believe in, but I’m such a better person when I do it. Plus I don’t drink when I do it. Fake it till I make it.
    Just venting and I know this keeps happening, but I have to keep trying. Can’t give up.
    My daughter asked me yesterday if drinking was bad like smoking. I said it is for some people. They don’t know about me yet. I probably need to tell them.
     
  16. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Hope everyone is well.
    Recap: quit a medicine. Had major side effects getting off of it. Now I’m doing ok. Not drinking, working out, taking good supplement for my condition, and still taking my mood stabilizer. I’m going to go back on a medicine I used to take (I actually forgot I used to take it.). My doc says we can revisit it. Hopefully it will help as even though I’m doing all these positive things I’m still becoming manic and getting agitated pretty easy. Hopefully it will help. Everything else is pretty good.
     
  17. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Went to orientation for my new part time gig of taping games at a college. I start Friday. Super easy and will be fun. I taped sporting events for public broadcasting while in college, so it’s fun to see what’s different 20 years later. My kids think I’m a rockstar! My daughter asked how much money I’d be getting. I told her probably like a million dollars (it’s actually 30 bucks a game but I get free pizza and a gym membership). I’m just happy to have a little something, since I’ve been staying home with the baby.
    Sober and been working out. Going to a meeting in a hour.
    Hope everyone is well. You wouldn’t believe how much better working out makes you feel!
     
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