Recovery Thread

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Miz, Dec 25, 2014.

  1. Anchorpunch

    Anchorpunch Well-Known Member Site Donor

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    I started feeling really exhausted and sick this week. Realized I wasn't actually sick, just probably getting a little depressed. So I took a small dose of mushrooms today and already making plans. I feel like I can be introspective and make productive plans instead of retreating. Which is good. For me, it's when I retreat that my other issues get bad.
     
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  2. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    What is a small dose to you?

    I also heard reading will help your mood (hint hint)!
     
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  3. Anchorpunch

    Anchorpunch Well-Known Member Site Donor

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    Haha, we'll find out if it does!! I might have done a little Fire and Blood this weekend instead because I had an itch. But I'm 100% in on Geek Love now.

    And a small dose for me, I don't know exactly because I never weigh anything. But one good size mushroom has been right for me. I'll be high in a fun way and then much more controlled and mellow the days following. I might try doing half that twice a week as a microdose to see how it helps my mood.

    However, I don't want to solely do microdosing. What I like about a larger dose is the high is one where I become introspective and can really work through some of my bad habits. I've done two trips like that so far and found them really helpful. Where as microdosing just feels like taking meds and not doing the hard work.

    Do you use mushrooms much?

    (Also, I'm trying to grow my own. Will keep you posted!)
     
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  4. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    I was super mad today over some trivial bull shit. Just stewed over shit all day. Feels good to be calm now. I have a good wife who is patient with me even when I’m upset with her. I’m a lucky man.
     
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  5. Anchorpunch

    Anchorpunch Well-Known Member Site Donor

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    I started a new therapy called DBT (hilariously I forgot what it stands for) that is more behavioral focused. Supposed to help me work on myself from that side of things in addition to normal therapy. I have to do DBT homework tonight- it's about setting development goals. I'm pretty optimistic, seems like it could help.
     
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  6. TriangleSmoke

    TriangleSmoke Motherfucker of the Century Site Donor

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    I hope everyone is doing well and avoiding their vices this holiday season.
     
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  7. Dimson

    Dimson Your tears don't fall...

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    I ate too much but other than that, I was safe as far as booze and beer go.
     
  8. TriangleSmoke

    TriangleSmoke Motherfucker of the Century Site Donor

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    lol I got down on some of my mama's homemade banana cream pies.
     
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  9. TriangleSmoke

    TriangleSmoke Motherfucker of the Century Site Donor

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    I feel a strong inclination to write this for some reason. Probably because I'm drunk and wanting...

    For the sake of transparency and candor, I came really close to getting a bag of blow tonight. Bottom line: I didn't. I GTFO of there and made it home by 9pm. I caught the DJ/Cejudo replay that just wrapped up a while ago and vaped a big hunk of shatter to help ease my mind.

    Some of you know I work in advertising sales. One of my newest clients is a new beer brand that has invested a nice chunk of cheddar, and I managed to broker a deal that got the client a tap handle in one of the most well-known and established bars where I live. Presumably some of you (Dimson for sure) have heard of this brand because the brand name itself, although born in Florida, is all over the place--clothing/apparel, stickers and other items, but the beer is new and only available in Florida right now. I'd name the brand, but I'd rather not in just in case someone were to search for it by name and by some freak chance come upon this post.

    Well, stupid me gets a bit shitfaced. I'm only human, and I'm trying to support my beer client. I'm not a big drinker, so 5 draft beers in 2 hours for me is recipe for disaster. I met some girls who I immediately knew were on that shit. For some reason one of them was digging me. She offered it, and man, I seriously almost said "fuck it" and got a bump. I started making feeble attempts at rationalizing the behavior to myself, "Fuck it --just do a small bump with her, and you will likely get some pussy / it's not opiates. 1 bump won't be enough to drive you to want pills or tar." The total BS phony rationalizations were rapidly going through my mind. I'm thanking god I had the presence of mind (despite being drunk) to think to myself, "You're making excuses to yourself. BS rationalizations..."

    She was smoking hot (way out of my league) and for some reason dug me. Probably in part because she was high as a kite. I have an eye for that stuff, and this girl was clearly on the shit in a fierce way. Thank God I waded through my mind-trash and said "No thanks, but knock yourself out." Literally as soon as our station remote ended (9pm) I flagged my Lyft and GTFO out of there. On one hand I regret leaving because despite being the verge of piss drunk right now, I know could have brought that chick home. I was well on my way until she confirmed my suspicion and offered me a blast of her stash. On the other hand, I'm taking solace in the fact that I used good judgment, all things considered of course.

    I haven't felt a desire to do blow like this in at least a year. I imagine it's partly because I'm a bit more drunk than I've been in a long while, but the impulse/psychology of the whole thing is fascinating to me.

    Sorry for the drunken rant. Thanks for indulging me.
     
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  10. disposableassassin

    disposableassassin Mutatis Mutandis Site Donor

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    You're making the right call and I'm happy to hear it. Stay strong.
     
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  11. Kano

    Kano My New Challenge Site Donor

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    it ain't supposed to be easy. nothing that's worth it is.
    fight the good fight.
     
  12. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Hit a depressive episode for about the last week. I see my doc on Friday for an appointment. Hate when this shit happens. Just got to dig out of it. Trying to do the right things. Just venting.
     
  13. Kano

    Kano My New Challenge Site Donor

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    Miz if your Jiu jitsu helps try spending a little more time on that.

    I have little spells, going for a run helps me.
    I know it may not be as easy to always work Jui Jitsu in, needing people to roll with, mats, facilities and stuff.

    I think most physical activities will help.
     
  14. Qball1974

    Qball1974 Tower of Song Site Donor

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    I went 3 days without drinking, haven't done that in awhile.

    Then you talk yourself into shit ……..
     
  15. Dimson

    Dimson Your tears don't fall...

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    I have found it is easier to not drink if you don't buy any alcohol. If I stay away from it, I can't drink it.
     
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  16. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Saw my pdoc today. Switched out some meds. I’ve quit one med that I think was ramping me up. Back on an anxiety med for the short term. Feel much more calm now. If I can stay away from the booze and keep off an adhd (won’t be hard to keep off b/c the doctor and I agreed to discontinue) med then I should be better. Also increased my mood balancing medicine. Now if I can just do the natural things ie: exercise, meditate, pray, and read then I should be good to go. Anything will be better than crying like a baby in your bed and hiding from my family duties. This usually happens 1-2 times a year at least. Some of it is self inflicted. I think I took appropriate steps today.
     
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  17. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    @Dimson i need to go to rehab. I just don’t know what to do with my almost one year old. I’m such a failure. I can’t keep doing what I’m doing.
     
  18. Dimson

    Dimson Your tears don't fall...

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    It will be hard but you just have to do it man. I didn't want to go either. I didn't think I needed it. I wouldn't have went but my kid's mom actually encouraged me to go. Talk to your wife about it. I am sure she will support you to go as well.
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2019
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  19. Miz

    Miz mortality, ka, and the Tower

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    Bought some good running shoes today. Been about a year and a half since I got new shoes. Bought some Brooks. I think my feet are rehabbed enough to run. We are going to find out. Might be a good outlook instead of getting blackout drunk all week.

    Dim- I can’t do rehab right now. No one to watch my son. Going to have to do this with resources I have. I will use you guys. Thinking about writing an article at some point.
    --- Post Added -- Jan 26, 2019, ---
    Trial run went good. Two hours later and my feet are ok. Went real light. Got a new book to listen to while I run. Should be a good routine if I make it one.
     
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  20. Dimson

    Dimson Your tears don't fall...

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    I can understand not going with the baby. But as soon as you can, you really should go. Good luck with the running.
     
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