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Fighting (Against) Animals

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussion' started by Poindexter, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Poindexter

    Poindexter Reputation: ∞ Staff Member

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  2. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    Funny shit.

    I would never want to shoot on a Kangaroo either, have you seen the claws on those fucks.
     
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  3. Monsonbychoke

    Monsonbychoke Well-Known Member

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    I must try these they seem like they would really work, specially the bear and hippo
     
  4. Poindexter

    Poindexter Reputation: ∞ Staff Member

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    I've thought about how to fight various animals on more than one occasion.
     
  5. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    Whats the biggest animal threat where you live? A fucking raccoon or NY sized rat?
    --- Post Added -- Feb 13, 2017, ---
    @Goremire We need some professional advice here. How would you fight a kangaroo?
     
  6. Poindexter

    Poindexter Reputation: ∞ Staff Member

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    We have some raccoons near me, and I think rats at least equal the human population here. No real threats, though—aside from cab drivers and fucking bike messengers.
     
  7. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    Bike messengers are easy.


    A stick to the spokes. Bam, whats up now fucker?
     
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  8. Monsonbychoke

    Monsonbychoke Well-Known Member

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    It's the rickshaws you really have to be on guard for
     
  9. Poindexter

    Poindexter Reputation: ∞ Staff Member

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    Racialist.
    --- Post Added -- Feb 13, 2017, ---
    That is a tried and true method. Those mother fuckers don't abide by the lights and fly through intersections when people are crossing. It's fucked up. Also, restaurant delivery douchebags with the covert electric bikes speeding down the fucking sidewalks.
     
  10. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    This thread got me wondering. What if I had to fight an animal in my area...

    Biggest thread would be cougars, deer and hipsters.

    Cougars, your fucked. Swing for the fences and channel your inner Jon Jones with some eye pokes.

    Deer, yes they attack. When that fucker rears up in its hinds to kick with its front legs, you would have to cover up & try to kick out or sweep its back legs. Then try to give it a few kicks before it got up wanting more.

    Hipsters, smack that herbal tea in his face, pull is toque down over his eyes, jersey the fucker and feed him some knees.
     
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  11. Monsonbychoke

    Monsonbychoke Well-Known Member

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    I like this thread to do big things in 2017. Well done poin.
     
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  12. Poindexter

    Poindexter Reputation: ∞ Staff Member

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    Deer you gotta control the head. Keep it pulled low and add kicks to the kidneys/liver and knee it in the face. Put it on it's side/back and you can avoid more of the offense.
     
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  13. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    Forget that noise, your not getting ahold of a deers head unless its a youngin'.



     
  14. Poindexter

    Poindexter Reputation: ∞ Staff Member

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    Gotta use your hops. That guy had zero game plan.
     
  15. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    Id pay to see you fight a deer.

    :lombard:
     
  16. Goremire

    Goremire Senior Member Site Donor

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    Holy shit, how i have waited for this day!

    Boxing a 'roo is all about lateral movement and feints. Do not move in or out on a straight line that shit is suicide. They will rock back on their tail and straight up eviscerate your shit with their gnarly ass claws, or at the very least teep you a brand new hernia.

    Id also avoid trying to trade kicks on the basis that your opponent is (and i feel this cannot be overstated) a fucking kangaroo. Its whole gig is basically never skipping leg day.

    So what you wanna do is hover juuuuust outside kicking range and use feints to see if you can get the roo to commit its weight either forward or backwards.

    If the bastard comes at ya, sidestep and check-hook him right in his stupid goddamned roo face. Follow up with a rear-hand straight to either the head or body of your feeling froggy. Then circle the fuck out. Dont try and shoot on one if it charges as some males can weigh over 100kgs and they can motor.

    If he rocks back, take a deep diagonal step to a dominant outside angle and then lead hook/straight combo off of that. Circle out. Rise and repeat until it acknowledges your superior position in the fucking food chain.

    Avoid the clinch at all costs. Roos have a plum that would make Anderson Silva give up dick pills for life so dont even play with that.

    Think of the roo as the Nick Diaz of the animal kingdom: hell on wheels if you stand in front of him, but not the best ring cutter in the world. Turn 'em all day long.*


    *Disclaimer: none of the above is field tested....yet.
     
  17. Cat--Smasher

    Cat--Smasher Putting the stamp on kids Staff Member

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    :rofl:




    I knew you were the man to ask.
     
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  18. Virtualpurple

    Virtualpurple Go Team Venture!

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    That dude went about it all wrong. He should pressed for the clinch.
     
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  19. BadKarma

    BadKarma Active Member

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    If he was holding an arrow, he should have just jabbed the fucker with it.
     
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  20. jokerthief

    jokerthief No reason to get excited. Site Donor

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