thumper
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Aug 28, 2008
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Location:
phoenix, Arizona

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thumper

all around great guy, from phoenix, Arizona

Staff Member

It would be weird if a human yelled out "Anyone wanna fuck?" but birds do it all day and nobody cares. Jun 1, 2018

    1. thumper
      thumper
      It would be weird if a human yelled out "Anyone wanna fuck?" but birds do it all day and nobody cares.
      1. Kano likes this.
      2. ILJO
        ILJO
        I care... Fucking hate birds. Lousy little retarded dinosaurs they are.
        Jun 3, 2018
        Kano likes this.
      3. Kano
        Kano
        ya birds shit on things. My car, roof of my house, other stuff I don't want bird shit on.
        Jun 4, 2018
    2. thumper
      thumper
      Anyone on the freeway going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is an idiot that's going to kill someone?
      1. disposableassassin
        disposableassassin
        Everyone is an idiot.
        May 28, 2018
    3. thumper
      thumper
      The only people who think a car playing loud music is cool are the people in the car
      1. Dimson and Cat--Smasher like this.
      2. ILJO
        ILJO
        Hey fuck you
        May 18, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      3. thumper
        thumper
        I was listening to rap in Houston one time in my car with dark windows at a car wash, had my music CRANKED. it was fucking loud. i get out of the car to wipe off the water at the vacuums and there were two black guys in the booth next to me. when i got out of the car they busted up laughing. not expecting to see a white business man get out of the car (this was back in like 2000). i'll never forget that.
        May 19, 2018
        ILJO and Dimson like this.
    4. thumper
      thumper
      Not having Headphone jacks in theaters seems borderline criminal
      1. Poindexter likes this.
    5. thumper
      thumper
      The candles you blow out on a birthday cake represent the years extinguished from your life
      1. Trodden and Kano like this.
      2. ILJO
        ILJO
        Freakdog deleted it in the last profile post, but I told him to "shut the fuck up already."
        Apr 23, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      3. ChuckBooty 2.0
        ChuckBooty 2.0
        Also it let's you kinda spit on everybody's piece of cake.
        Apr 23, 2018
        Trodden and thumper like this.
    6. thumper
      thumper
      Blood is thicker than water. But, syrup is thicker than blood. Therefore pancakes are more important than family.
      1. Bran
        Bran
        I don't like to go around making diabetes jokes, but dude, you can't just set them up like that.
        Apr 16, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      2. thumper
        thumper
        you complete me
        Apr 22, 2018
    7. thumper
      thumper
      Flat Earthers never seem to appreciate how lucky we are that the Earth is horizontal rather than vertical
      1. Kano and Poindexter like this.
      2. Kano
        Kano
        even worse. earth could be round and we could,ve ended up on the bottom.
        Apr 12, 2018
        thumper likes this.
    8. thumper
      thumper
      have you seen the clown that hides from gay people? Have you?
      1. Poindexter
        Poindexter
        I saw him.
        Mar 25, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      2. sourdough
        sourdough
        I totally sucked his dick.
        Mar 25, 2018
        thumper and ILJO like this.
    9. thumper
      thumper
      Hey Now Brown Cow
    10. thumper
      thumper
      Not to go off topic about taking/leaving a shit, but I just picked 124 ripe, sweet and tangy tangelos off a tree and have 100+ left to pick
      1. Dimson and Trodden like this.
    11. thumper
      thumper
      Shouldn't it be 'leaving' a shit?
      1. Kano and Trodden like this.
      2. Trodden
        Trodden
        I could give two shits
        Feb 28, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      3. Kano
        Kano
        At work I Call it "making a superintendent"
        Feb 28, 2018
        Trodden and thumper like this.
      4. disposableassassin
        disposableassassin
        We aren't really taking it anywhere that's for sure. Well I mean we are taking it to where we are leaving it but that's neither here nor there. Well it is here and then it's there once you've taken it and then left it.
        Mar 5, 2018
        Kano and Trodden like this.
    12. thumper
      thumper
      The More You Know: Teach a man to make fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for a lifetime.
      1. Poindexter likes this.
      2. Kano
        Kano
        Stick a red hot poker up a man's ass and he'll have that inner glow.
        Nov 4, 2017
        thumper and Poindexter like this.
    13. thumper
      thumper
      Neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 2:30am? Can you believe that? 2:30am! Lucky for him i was still up playing my drums!
    14. thumper
      thumper
      that the fresh, “green” scent of a just-mowed lawn is actually a distress signal that the lawn is sending out to save Net Neutrality
    15. thumper
      thumper
      sometimes my ass fools me. Sit down for a nice shit and it turns out to be nothing more than a disappointing giant fart
      1. Trodden likes this.
      2. Trodden
        Trodden
        thats a good metaphor for the white house
        Jul 19, 2017
        kanobro likes this.
      3. Cat--Smasher
        Cat--Smasher
        You know what thought did? Thought thought he farted and he shit himself.
        Jul 22, 2017
    16. thumper
      thumper
      I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world because theyd never expect it
      1. Poindexter and Spoon like this.
      2. thumper
        thumper
        Jack Handey for president!
        Jul 15, 2017
        Poindexter, Trodden and Spoon like this.
    17. thumper
      thumper
      My taint is inflamed. Thought you should know
      1. View previous comments...
      2. thumper
        thumper
        baby powder would form a paste
        Jul 10, 2017
      3. thumper
        thumper
        and get it checked out? nah, I'm just in for the ride
        Jul 10, 2017
        Cat--Smasher likes this.
      4. Kano
        Kano
        rub Tobasco Sauce on it. Guaranteed to reduce inflammation.
        Jul 17, 2017
        Cat--Smasher likes this.
    18. thumper
      thumper
      I think I'm more sad to see Mayor West gone than batman
    19. thumper
      thumper
      i've been craving fruit loops lately. what the fuck?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Poindexter
        Poindexter
        Those first fifteen seconds were glorious though.
        Mar 13, 2017
      3. ILJO
        ILJO
        Lucky Charms. Reese's Puffs. Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

        The holy trinity of cereals.
        Mar 16, 2017
      4. Thamob
        Thamob
        Chocolate Cheerios is the bomb.
        Mar 21, 2017
    20. thumper
      thumper
      i believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky
      1. View previous comments...
      2. Problematique
        Problematique
        That's because you're a delusional cunt that drinks too much moonshine and has too many cats.
        Jan 17, 2017
        thumper likes this.
      3. Trodden
        Trodden
        did someone pee on you thump?
        Jan 18, 2017
        thumper likes this.
      4. Poindexter
        Poindexter
        You can't.
        Jan 18, 2017
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    Location:
    phoenix, Arizona
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