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thumper
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thumper

Picogrammy, from phoenix, Arizona

Staff Member

Build a man a fire & he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life Mar 14, 2019

    1. thumper
      thumper
      Build a man a fire & he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
      1. ILJO, Poindexter and Kano like this.
      2. Kano
        Kano
        you can live the rest of your lie eating nothing but tree bark.
        Mar 14, 2019
    2. thumper
      thumper
      Riddle: Any given year - Xmas eve and NY eve fall on the same day of the week. Xmas day and NY day don't. Why?
      1. View previous comments...
      2. sourdough
        sourdough
        xmas eve and ny eve are 7 days apart. xmas and new years are 358 or so days apart depending on whether its a leap year
        Jan 5, 2019
        Kano and thumper like this.
      3. thumper
        thumper
        @Problematique and @sourdough are correct. Just have to open a calendar to see it. Took me awhile to figure it out. the real key is 'any given year'
        Jan 5, 2019
        Kano and Problematique like this.
      4. ILJO
        ILJO
        I don't get it.
        Jan 6, 2019
        Kano likes this.
    3. thumper
      thumper
      Peanut butter jelly time
      1. Kano
        Kano
        in your belly time
        Dec 2, 2018
      2. Poindexter
        Poindexter
        Not that time AGAIN!?!!
        Dec 19, 2018
    4. thumper
      thumper
      You never realize how often you fart until you hang around with someone you are attracted to
      1. Poindexter likes this.
    5. thumper
      thumper
      My electric bills could buy a nice car. this sucks
      1. Dimson
        Dimson
        Stop using so much electricity then.
        Sep 19, 2018
        Kano, Trodden and thumper like this.
      2. thumper
        thumper
        Hmmm never thought of that. Genius!
        Sep 19, 2018
        Dimson likes this.
      3. ILJO
        ILJO
        Could your electric bills pay for my electric bills instead? That seems more practical.
        Sep 23, 2018
        disposableassassin likes this.
    6. thumper
      thumper
      I before E Except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters. Weird.
      1. Dimson
        Dimson
        English language ftw!
        Aug 8, 2018
      2. Poindexter
        Poindexter
        Took me awhile.
        Aug 10, 2018
    7. thumper
      thumper
      Babies literally suck the energy from their moms to become more powerful
      1. Cat--Smasher and m1ckey kn0x like this.
    8. thumper
      thumper
      It would be weird if a human yelled out "Anyone wanna fuck?" but birds do it all day and nobody cares.
      1. Kano likes this.
      2. ILJO
        ILJO
        I care... Fucking hate birds. Lousy little retarded dinosaurs they are.
        Jun 3, 2018
        Kano likes this.
      3. Kano
        Kano
        ya birds shit on things. My car, roof of my house, other stuff I don't want bird shit on.
        Jun 4, 2018
    9. thumper
      thumper
      Anyone on the freeway going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is an idiot that's going to kill someone?
      1. disposableassassin
        disposableassassin
        Everyone is an idiot.
        May 28, 2018
    10. thumper
      thumper
      The only people who think a car playing loud music is cool are the people in the car
      1. Dimson and Cat--Smasher like this.
      2. ILJO
        ILJO
        Hey fuck you
        May 18, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      3. thumper
        thumper
        I was listening to rap in Houston one time in my car with dark windows at a car wash, had my music CRANKED. it was fucking loud. i get out of the car to wipe off the water at the vacuums and there were two black guys in the booth next to me. when i got out of the car they busted up laughing. not expecting to see a white business man get out of the car (this was back in like 2000). i'll never forget that.
        May 19, 2018
        ILJO and Dimson like this.
    11. thumper
      thumper
      Not having Headphone jacks in theaters seems borderline criminal
      1. Poindexter likes this.
    12. thumper
      thumper
      The candles you blow out on a birthday cake represent the years extinguished from your life
      1. Trodden and Kano like this.
      2. ILJO
        ILJO
        Freakdog deleted it in the last profile post, but I told him to "shut the fuck up already."
        Apr 23, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      3. ChuckBooty 2.0
        ChuckBooty 2.0
        Also it let's you kinda spit on everybody's piece of cake.
        Apr 23, 2018
        Trodden and thumper like this.
    13. thumper
      thumper
      Blood is thicker than water. But, syrup is thicker than blood. Therefore pancakes are more important than family.
      1. Bran
        Bran
        I don't like to go around making diabetes jokes, but dude, you can't just set them up like that.
        Apr 16, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      2. thumper
        thumper
        you complete me
        Apr 22, 2018
    14. thumper
      thumper
      Flat Earthers never seem to appreciate how lucky we are that the Earth is horizontal rather than vertical
      1. Kano and Poindexter like this.
      2. Kano
        Kano
        even worse. earth could be round and we could,ve ended up on the bottom.
        Apr 12, 2018
        thumper likes this.
    15. thumper
      thumper
      have you seen the clown that hides from gay people? Have you?
      1. Poindexter
        Poindexter
        I saw him.
        Mar 25, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      2. sourdough
        sourdough
        I totally sucked his dick.
        Mar 25, 2018
        thumper and ILJO like this.
    16. thumper
      thumper
      Hey Now Brown Cow
    17. thumper
      thumper
      Not to go off topic about taking/leaving a shit, but I just picked 124 ripe, sweet and tangy tangelos off a tree and have 100+ left to pick
      1. Dimson and Trodden like this.
    18. thumper
      thumper
      Shouldn't it be 'leaving' a shit?
      1. Kano and Trodden like this.
      2. Trodden
        Trodden
        I could give two shits
        Feb 28, 2018
        thumper likes this.
      3. Kano
        Kano
        At work I Call it "making a superintendent"
        Feb 28, 2018
        Trodden and thumper like this.
      4. disposableassassin
        disposableassassin
        We aren't really taking it anywhere that's for sure. Well I mean we are taking it to where we are leaving it but that's neither here nor there. Well it is here and then it's there once you've taken it and then left it.
        Mar 5, 2018
        Kano and Trodden like this.
    19. thumper
      thumper
      The More You Know: Teach a man to make fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for a lifetime.
      1. Poindexter likes this.
      2. Kano
        Kano
        Stick a red hot poker up a man's ass and he'll have that inner glow.
        Nov 4, 2017
        thumper and Poindexter like this.
    20. thumper
      thumper
      Neighbor knocked on my door this morning at 2:30am? Can you believe that? 2:30am! Lucky for him i was still up playing my drums!
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